As a choral music educator, you face several challenges that people in other professions don’t encounter. Because your job is performance based, usually in a concert setting, you have to make sure that what you produce is appealing to the masses. In most cases, the masses are people who think that you should be teaching their children the latest Taylor Swift song, or that song they heard in that movie…you know, THAT REALLY GOOD MOVIE! Never mind your 4 year degree, your years of singing substantial repertoire in ensembles of every level, your collection of excellent choral recordings, and your network of fellow music teachers who have exciting music to share. We should just throw in the hat and sing “Candle in the Window” (the “Home Alone” theme) or a 4 part arrangement of “Stacy’s Mom.”
The one problem we face most often, other than an obvious lack of proper concert etiquette and a shortage of Journey songs, is the appropriateness of religious music in public schools. When I was in high school, my Principal once asked my Choir Teacher how many “Jesus tunes” she was doing: A prime example of musical ignorance. This small troll would venture out of her den every once and a while to eat a small child and occasionally attend a concert, if she wasn’t completely bombed after seeing the Jets lose. She would put on her crisp skirt suit, usually in a pale gray or beige, and after making her opening remarks, would hunker down, stone faced, expecting to be entertained. From her standpoint, the concert could be a complete travesty, but as long as no parents called to complain, it was a success.
Because I grew up in a fairly progressive town (a.k.a., tons of hippies) there was an absence of the really good “Jesus Tunes”. I love a good Jesus tune. I did several religious pieces in my former job at the high school level. There is nothing I love more than white suburban kids singing gospel songs and struggling to move together on the risers. As a person with no rhythm, I feel compelled to put my students through the same disparaging movement issues I faced. That way that we can be truly be equals…and I can blog about it later.
Now, there are several types of religious songs:
1) Foreign Language- We choral music teachers (and by “we”, I mean “I) call these the “sneaky Jesus songs”. This is because these pieces are in Latin, German, French or Italian, and people have no idea what the words mean. Some people will flip out of you say “Jesus” in a piece, but for some reason “Jesu” flies under the radar. You can sneak it in wherever you want:, Gesu Bambino = Baby Jesus, mon Signeur Jésus = My Lord Jesus, Jesus ist mein Homeboy = Jesus is my homeboy. It works in every situation. Also, you would be shocked at how many people don’t know that Ave Maria means “Hail/Rejoice Mary”. You can get away with a ton of new testament references and avoid the “separation of church and state” crazies! And you have a valid educational reason for choosing this piece: The Language. Simply state that you are trying to incorporate some cross curricular collaboration (See "Interviewing" blog) and that you are doing your best to make the kids' educational experience more holistic. Of course, this will probably lead to you having to sing The Periodic Table song, but I love Tom Lehar, so I'm down!
2) Southern- These are what I call SPUR-ituls. A) Because I think it is funny and B) I just assume that southern people can't correctly pronounce their "e" (or [i] for all you IPA people) vowels. This are either the super intense Jesus tunes i.e. Praise His Holy Name (RAH RAH JESUS), or they talk about God and no one knows what they mean...i.e. Wade in the Water (What water? Because there is a pond across the street, but I'm certainly not going to wade around if "God's a gonna trouble" it.) I love southern SPUR-ituls. They have really cool harmonies to generally simple tunes, which is partially what makes them so fun and challenging to sing, and who doesn't like a piece of music where "Lord" is spelled "Lawd"? No one, that's who. I think we all secretly want to be southern, just so we can talk like that and not sound like assholes. It's a whole different world down there, and I want in on it...but I don't want to have to smoke, drive a crappy truck, and have a second first name (i.e. Jim Bob and John Boy...for all of you "Waltons" fans out there). Singing these pieces is "safe southern"...the kind where you get to keep all of your teeth. It's JUUUUUUUUUUST right!
3) Atonal- For those of you unfamiliar with this musical term, it is a fancy way of saying “This piece will sound like shit.” Some people will be offended by that statement, but I stand by it. Atonal music sucks. I am all for dissonance, but there needs to be some point of resolution so that your ears don’t bleed. Some people are exceptionally talented at accomplishing the balance between tension and resolution. But there are a great deal of atonal composers that failed their Music Theory 2 class in college and decided they could pretend to be “deep” and “troubled” if they composed stuff that sounded like putting a piano through a wood chipper. Some of these compositional failures decided that they would use their “talents” and offer their music up to God. I don’t know about him, but if they composed shit like that in my name, I’d be pissed. The up side of this is that people will be so thrown off by the lack of coherent sound that you can sing whatever text you want. Odds are the audience will be checking sports scores on their phone or texting their friends about how this concert makes them wish they were dead, so you might as well sneak in some biblical verses if you can get away with it.
4) Traditional- These are the ones that everyone knows. Amazing Grace, There is a Balm in Gilead, He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands, Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer, ect. This genre also covers Christmas Carols. Everyone loves a good Christmas Carol, whether you’re Christian or you believe in the alien lord Zool (Tom Cruise).Now, if you program one of these pieces AFTER the atonal garbage listed above then no one will care what the words are. They’ll be so relieved that the torture has ceased and will rejoice that they are finally hearing something that they are familiar with that the words will flow over them like a warm security blanket. Also, they will be excited because those pieces were probably sung by Celine Dion, N*Sync, Reba McIntyre, or Sting on his terrible Christmas Album (seriously, it is AWFUL), so you’re in the clear.
5) Contemporary- These are the songs that you hear on those TV commercials for “The 100 Best Contemporary Christian Songs of the 90’s”: Awesome God, River Constantine, the gospel version of Handel’s Messiah, the list goes on and on. They are often accompanied by electric guitar or synthesizer. I have never programed one of these, partially because I still have some small shred of self-respect, and partially because the kids hate to sing that stuff as much as the audience hates to hear it. Really? “Awesome God”? Who thought that was a good idea? God has been described as omnipotent, mighty, infallible, abundant…and now “awesome”. As a younger person of faith, who this kind of music was obviously directed to, I shake my head and hang it in shame. Shame on you, contemporary Christian composers. And even more shame on you if you decided to add hand motions to your pieces. No one looks good doing hand motions… no one.
Well, there you have it: Your guide to the “Jesus tunes” in Choral music. There are many others that I could list, but I believe that this is good framework in which to program. It doesn’t matter which religion you are, there are still things to be learned from this genre of music. When I taught Christmas Carols to my former Chamber Choir, I told them if they were offended by singing the word “Jesus” to simply pretend that they are singing about Ironman. And that my friends is called “differentiating instruction.”
No comments:
Post a Comment